1、英文简历中不该出现的话致命的大错 “Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10. “Qualifications: No education or experience. “I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy. “My compensation should be at least equal to my age. “Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC. “Fired
2、because I fought for lower pay. “Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65 . “Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date. “Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near. “Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elabora
3、te privately. 打字错误与语法错误 “Here are my qualifications for you to overlook. “Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer. “I am a rabid typist. “Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981. “After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new
4、line of work. “Accounting cleric. “As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments. “Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments. “Suspected to graduate early next year. “Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets. “Proven ability to track down and correct erors. “Accomplish
5、ments: Oversight of entire department. “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details. “Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school. 不应有的幽默 “Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house. “Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumabl
6、e items in a fast-paced setting. (Translation: Short-order cook.) “But wait.theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature. “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse. “My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a jo
7、b-and I like your company in particular. “Title: Another resume from the Profiles in Excellence series. “Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it. “Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks. “Lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience.此资料由网络收集而来，如有侵权请告知上传者立即删除。资料共分享，我们负责传递知识。